"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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