yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
