new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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