Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
