Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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