Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
