she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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