Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
