They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize