sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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