I am in a vortex of obligation.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
