brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
