he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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