he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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