Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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