sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
