I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the raccoons are back...
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