Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she woke up with a sticky ear
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
