I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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