Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
