We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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