last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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