I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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