he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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