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• (510): View more from California

  Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"

  Fav 15 2427 5905

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.

  Fav 27 6788 1669

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

  Fav 16 12248 1336

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....

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• (716): View more from New York

  Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?

  Fav 6 1146 618

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.

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