Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?

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  (708): Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus? http://tfl.nu/ye38
  Replies (5) Good night (1888) Bad night (698)
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  (323): View more from California

  Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.

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  (323): Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/rf3y
  Replies (43) Good night (4078) Bad night (859)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.

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  (248): he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast. http://tfl.nu/sg9r
  Replies (32) Good night (1076) Bad night (7107)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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  (832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8
  Replies (10) Good night (5270) Bad night (1225)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3889) Bad night (858)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...

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  (803): There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together... http://tfl.nu/sic1
  Replies (13) Good night (5144) Bad night (1187)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?

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  (812): i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF? http://tfl.nu/2o7d
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (1309)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband

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  (512): ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband http://tfl.nu/p8hd
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (1944)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.

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  (908): I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice. http://tfl.nu/l50v
  Replies (5) Good night (448) Bad night (1024)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I found and fixed my beer gun.

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  (570): Also I found and fixed my beer gun. http://tfl.nu/qi6j
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (293)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?

  (1-830): View more from Texas

  Jeans and a nice top.

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  (830): So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law? (1-830): Jeans and a nice top. http://tfl.nu/z19e
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (512)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?

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  (613): I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas? http://tfl.nu/j6a7
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (366)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.

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  (716): He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do. http://tfl.nu/0qz8
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (501)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  How about we just have a naked taco night instead?

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  (763): How about we just have a naked taco night instead? http://tfl.nu/yj58
  Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (308)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....

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  (717): You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer.... http://tfl.nu/09h3
  Replies (4) Good night (358) Bad night (197)

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