Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

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  (401): This isn't the rejection hotline, is it? http://tfl.nu/jrbs
  Replies (17) Good night (857) Bad night (3650)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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  (204): Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding. http://tfl.nu/e8lb
  Replies (19) Good night (1159) Bad night (6000)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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  (425): He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party. http://tfl.nu/pnyn
  Replies (21) Good night (2056) Bad night (7796)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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  (513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne
  Replies (25) Good night (14829) Bad night (1813)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?

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  (660): Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test? http://tfl.nu/cwr3
  Replies (7) Good night (5168) Bad night (1147)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

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  (202): on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing. http://tfl.nu/q9c2
  Replies (22) Good night (6308) Bad night (1502)
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  (916): View more from California

  You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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  (916): You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/nr1z
  Replies (6) Good night (2249) Bad night (665)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.

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  (734): He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked. http://tfl.nu/9iel
  Replies (3) Good night (1136) Bad night (688)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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  (614): Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist http://tfl.nu/opm5
  Replies (5) Good night (1307) Bad night (830)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise

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  (410): I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON (908): Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise http://tfl.nu/ujsf
  Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (494)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns

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  (602): It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns http://tfl.nu/skwr
  Replies (3) Good night (824) Bad night (391)
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  (805): View more from California

  Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours

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  (805): Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours http://tfl.nu/47o4
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (333)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?

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  (318): What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church? http://tfl.nu/g4ep
  Replies (9) Good night (1195) Bad night (367)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches

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  (216): That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches http://tfl.nu/9kjr
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (173)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.

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  (617): Sorry for cyberstalking your dad. http://tfl.nu/4tnd
  Replies (0) Good night (183) Bad night (290)

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