idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
