I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
