If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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