playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
