Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she peed on how many people?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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