As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize