my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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