honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
