Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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