new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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