It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
