he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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