After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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