I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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