Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
