bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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