All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
