He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
