Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
