How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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