Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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