When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
