Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
