Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
