I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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