if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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