My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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