You really coming over, don't trick.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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