Kiss
Puke
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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