Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
