So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
