i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
