so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
did you just send me my own nude
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
