Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Are we still banned from the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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