This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize