she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
