if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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