He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
