Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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