So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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