Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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